THE WOMANLESS WEDDING 

"~ - BY 

MRS. JAMES W. HUNT. 




PRICE 25 CENTS 



Eldridge Entertainment House 

Franklin, Ohio Denver, Colo. 



GET THIS NEW PATRIOTIC MONOLOG 

"THE STARS AND STRIPES 
IN FLANDERS" 

BY SEYMOUR S. TtBBALS 



LJERE is a ten minute dramatic reading 
1 [ with a climax that will cause a thrill. 
Suitable for a male or female reader and a 
number that will strengthen any program. 

We recommend it for any patriotic celebra- 
tion, commencement, alumni or civic banquet. 

The story deals with the manner in which 
the news of America's entrance into the war 
was received in a dugout in Belgium. A col- 
onel of artillery, a priest and an Irish-Ameri- 
can are the leading characters. You will 
like it. 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

THE ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

FRANKLIN, OHIO - • DENVER, COLO. 



The Womanless Wedding 



By Mrs. James W. Hunt. 



Copyright, 1918, Eldridge Entertainment House 



Published by 



ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE, 

FRANKLIN, OHIO DENVER, COLO. 



CHARACTERS 



^oT 



MISS PETITE FRANCE Bride. 

MR. U. S. AMERICA Groom. 

MR. PARIS FRANCE Father of Bride. 

MRS. PARIS FRANCE Mother of Bride. 

MR. LONDON ENGLAND Uncle of Bride. 

MRS. LONDON ENGLAND Aunt of Bride. 

MR. ANGLO SAXON Grandfather of Bride. 

MRS. ANGLO SAXON Grandmother of Bride. 

MISS MADRID SPAIN Guest. 

MRS. KNOW ALL A neighbor. 

MISS RIGA RUSSIA— Jilted Sweetheart of Groom. 

AUNT AFRICA Colored Nurse. 

MARSEILLES Baby sister of Bride. 

MR. LEYDEN HOLLAND Ring bearer. 

MR. ROME ITALY Train bearer to Bride. 

MR. MONTREAL CANADA Best Man. 

MISS JANEIRO BRAZIL Soloist. 

Flower girl, bridesmaids, groomsmen, minister and 
twins. 

Other characters may be introduced, if desired. 
Time — One to one and one-half hours. 

GENERAL DIRECTIONS 
As title indicates, no women are to be used in this 
play, unless desired. Special care should be exercised 
in the selection of the cast. Use prominent men. Men 
taking ladies' parts should wear ladies' shoes if possible. 
A small groom and large bride will prove effective. Have 
costumes and stage effects as elaborate as possible. An 
altar draped in red, white and blue is appropriate. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS 
L. F., left front. R. F., right front. B. C, back 
center. 



TMP92-009165 

DEC 12 1318 © C[D 



COSTUMES AND PROPERTIES 

Bride — A rich bridal dress with train, veil, gloves, 
flowers. 

Groom — Evening suit, gloves. 

Father of Bride — Dark suit. 

Mother of Bride — Purple satin dress and hat to match. 
Handbag containing handkerchief, comb, brush, ap- 
ple and doll. 

Uncle of Bride — Dark suit, light vest. 

Aunt of Bride — Lavender satin dress, black trimmings, 
hat and gloves. 

Grandfather — Dark suit, walking cane, gray wig. 

Grandmother — Black silk dress, small black hat and veil. 
Black gloves and walking cane. 

Miss Spain — Yellow satin dress, hat and gloves. 

Mrs. Knowall — Light satin dress, hat and gloves. Fan, 
smelling salts. 

Miss Russia — Light silk dress, hat, gloves, handkerchief. 

Aunt Africa — Dark dress, white apron and cap. Baby 
carriage. 

Baby Sister — Long white baby dress, cap and ribbons. 
Toys. 

Ringbearer — Peter Pan suit. White stockings and slip- 
pers. White satin pillow. Ring. 

Train-bearer — Peter Pan suit, white. Stockings and 
slippers to match. 

Miss Brazil — Pink or blue satin dress, hat, gloves, flow- 
ers, sheet music. 

Best Man — Black suit. 

Flower Girl — Short white dress. Pink sash and hair rib- 
bon, or hat showing long hair. White stockings and 
slippers. Basket and flowers. 

Groomsmen — Dark suits, light vests and white gloves. 

Bridesmaids — Light satin dresses, gloves, picture hats, 
flowers. 

Twins — Boy. Short trousers, white blouse, and tie, 
white socks and slippers. Girl. Short white dress, 
hat with hair attached. White socks and slippers. 

Minister — Frock coat. Bible. 



The Womanless Wedding, 



ACT I. 



SCENE I. 

A very large parlor with but little furniture 
except chairs, settees, and a large altar placed at L. 
C. of stage. Ushers stand at regular entrance of 
auditorium. First usher brings guests up the 
right aisle. Second usher brings guests up the left 
aisle. 

First Usher — (With uncle and aunt, comes to middle 
of stage.) Allow me to present to you the uncle and 
aunt of the bride. (All bow to front, and usher returns 
to his position at entrance, as does each usher after pre- 
senting the guests.) 

Uncle — (Gazing around leisurely) And this is 
where the wedding's to be! Are you sure, ma, we're 
not too late? 

Aunt — (Leisurely seating herself) Oh, pa, don't 
you see the candles are not burnt out? It's an hour till 
the wedding. The bride hasn't got the paint on her face 
yet. 

Uncle — Well, if she is my niece, I'll not give her a 
single cent if she steps out here all painted up and in 
high heeled shoes. No, no, she'll never get my money. 

Aunt — Pa, your niece is as old as I am. Do you 
think that nice looking young man would marry her if he 
saw her wrinkles ? No, let her paint, pa. She needs some- 
thing to make her decent looking. Here comes Mrs. 
Knowall. She'll tell us whether your money is needed. I 
say, if the girl's doing well, she is marrying for money. 

Second Usher — (Brings Mrs. K. up left aisle to 
stage and introduces her to audience. Both bow. Usher 
exit. Mrs. K. greets former guests, who rise.) 

Uncle — How do you do, Mrs. Knowall? Isn't this 
a lovely evening for the wedding? (All resume seats.) 



Do tell us what the neighbors say about the match. Is 
my niece doing — er — to say well? 

Mrs. K. — (Knowingly) It's a thousand wonders she 
ever roped in Mr. America. He's been a dreadful flirt 
and everybody knows Miss Russia is heartbroken be- 
cause he jilted her. In fact, he could get his pick of any 
of the girls. 

Aunt. — (Excitedly.) Poor fellow! That horrible 
Miss Russia won't want alimony, will she ? 

Mrs. K. — No telling. Her heart is broken, I tell 
you. She'll soon want the undertaker. She's a perfect 
shadow now. She'll faint if she sees him kiss the bride 
tonight. Nervous prostration has already set in. But 
hush, here she comes. (Enter first usher with Miss Rus- 
sia, tveeping audibly. He introduces her to audience: 
"This is Miss Russia, the jilted sweetheart of the 
groom," and exits. Mrs. K. arranges a seat for Miss R., 
fans her and offers her smelling salts. Uncle and aunt 
whisper to each other knowingly.) 

Second Usher — (Enter with Miss Spain) This is 
Miss Spain, a guest. (To audience.) 

Miss Spain — (Shaking hands with all except Miss 
Russia, who refuses to look up, being buried in grief.) 
Well, I just want to bet with some one. I'll bet a million 
dollars that the bride's parents are the happiest folks 
in town tonight. That girl is thirty years old, if she is 
a day. But she is a mighty nice girl, so sweet and indus- 
trious. (Apologetically.) 

Mrs. K. — The saying goes that her father promised 
a house and lot in the trade, but since her chances were 
scarce, Mr. America got him to throw in a couple of 
thousand before he agreed to take the girl off the old 
gentleman's hands. 

Miss Russia — It's money, money, he's after! He'll 
never love another woman as he loved me. I can't bear 
it. (Weeps audibly.) 

Second Usher — (Enters with Aunt Africa, rolling 
the baby in the carriage) (To audience.) This is Aunt 
Africa and the baby sister of the bride. 

Aunt Africa — Now set up honey, right whar you can 
see the weddin'. Chile, that's the prettiest little bride 
that eber the sun shined on. She warn't big as you when 



I took her to raise, and, chile, she gets smarter and han'- 
somer eber bref she draws. White folks in dis town 
ain't never seen sich a weddin' as dis am gwine to be. 
(Solicitously regards baby.) 

Miss Spain — Say, Aunty, do you live here? 

Aunt Africa— Yas'm, I been nussin' the twins till 
they got so they could trot aroun\ I nussin' this baby 
now. Her ma been so busy lately gettin' ready for Miss 
Petite's weddin' that she near gin the baby to me. 

Mrs. Knowall — Say, er — Aunty, do you know wheth- 
er we are going to have anything to eat tonight? I have- 
n't eaten a wedding supper in five years. Supper is the 
best part of a wedding — yes, and plenty of cake to dream 
over. 

Miss Russia — (Sobbing) Our family has always 
spent enough on a wedding to have a big infair and plen- 
ty of wedding cake. 

Aunt Africa — They ain't gwine to be no cake. Mis- 
sus say that the po' white trash eats at weddin's, and 
quality folks alius has a dance to enjoy theyselves with. 
(Haughtily.) 

First Usher — (Enters with grandfather and grand- 
mother of the bride, stooped with age and walking slowly 
with canes.) Allow me to present to you the grandfather 
and grandmother of the bride. (Both remain standing 
while others shake hands with them. Grandmother 
speaks to baby and chuckles it under the chin. Grand- 
father manifests interest.) 

Grandmother — (Placing hand affectionately on hus- 
band's shoulder) Cheer up John, this puts me in mind 
of our wedding day, fifty-two years ago. Ah, how your 
shoulders have stooped since then! And your hair is 
white too, John, but to me you're just the same. 

Grandfather — Well, if our granddaughter, Petite, 
makes as good a wife as you, Mr. America will bless this 
hour to his dying day. (Turns to nurse) Aunt Africa, 
don't let that baby fall out. 

Second Usher — (Enters with mother of bride, who is 
leading the twins.) Ladies and gentlemen, this is the 
mother of the bride, with the twins. (All pi~esent speak 
to mother, during which time the twins shake the car- 
riage and annoy the baby. Nurse shakes them and takes 



them away. Twins go to grandparents and sit in their 
laps. Mother coaxes them away with an apple and a 
doll) 

Mrs. Knowall — (Rising and, pointing to boy) That 
boy will be hanged before he is twenty-one. He gets 
his meanness from both sides of the house. 

Mother — (Wrathfully) No, indeed, madam. It all 
comes from his father's side. (She leads twins off to one 
side.) Now stay right by me and watch for sister to 
come. (She uses handkerchief and comb and brush on 
twins.) 

Aunt Africa — Them twins are as good as other 
chillun. Most boys* is fluentsome, and your own sister's 
boy talks back. He is highly independentsome and dera- 
tional than that boy. (Points to twin.) 

Mother — (Putting away toilet articles) Well, if I 
ever felt relieved, it's now. I'll walk right by the neigh- 
bors with my head up, as if to tantalize them. Any one 
of them would like to have added my new son-in-law to 
her own family. My daughter Petite has always been 
the most popular girl in town. She went to thirty-seven 
dances last year, received one hundred forty presents and 
was voted the prettiest girl in town eight years ago — 
that was when the twins were mere babies. In her time 
she has worn four diamonds, and had nine offers of mar- 
riage. (To little girl) Turn around. I do believe your 
sash has come unpinned. I didn't have time to half dress 
you. (Mother continues, addressing Aunt Africa) Aunt 
Africa, did Mrs. Germany ever send a wedding present 
over today? 

Aunt Africa — No'm, that she didn't. What Mrs. 
Austria sent was a pan pretended to be silver, but it 
warn't as heavy as a tin pie pan, and her card read "Re- 
grets." I don't know what 'tis she regrets. 

Mother — That's it — jealousy. But they couldn't 
put up the money we could. 

Miss Russia — Yes, it's money, money he's after. 
He'll never love another girl as he loved me. 

Mother — Our family has always prided itself in its 
social position — (Haughtily) pride of ancestry, I call it, 
and Mr. America, coming of good descent himself, ap- 



predated the fact. But here they come. (Places a twin 
on each side of her and assumes dignity.) 

First Usher — (Enters with Miss Brazil.) This is 
Miss Brazil, a college chum of the bride. (Miss Brazil 
remains standing to sing solo. "Silver Threads Among 
the Gold," "Hot Time," or other appropriate song, while 
piano prelude is being played and guests are quietly 
moving seats to rear of stage. Guests group themselves 
at right and left of stage to make room for wedding 
party.) 

Miss Brazil — (Sings and moves to right of stage. 
Pianist begins march) 

(Enter first usher and first maid from up 
right aisles respectively. On mounting stage, each 
crosses to other side, passing each other in front of 
altar and take positions as shoivn in diagram. Then 
follow second usher and second maid from up left 
and right aisles respectively and proceed as did first 
pair. If more ushers and maids are used, proceed 
in same manner. Enter flower girl from left and 
ring-bearer from right, who takes positions on left 
and right of altar respectively. Enter bride with 
father from right, and groom with best man from 
left. They mount stage at same time, cross in front 
of altar, and turning, take positions behind altar, 
the bride being on the left and the groom on the 
right. Best man stands at right of groom, and fa- 
ther at left of bride. Enter minister from right of 
stage, taking his position facing the bride and 
groom.) 

Minister — (Holding book and speaking in austere 
tone.) Dearly beloved, we are gathered together in the 
presence of the family, relatives and neighbors to join 
together this man and woman in the estate of continual 
turmoil and strife. If there be any present who know 
any cause why they may not lawfully be joined together, 
let them now speak, or else forever after hold their 
peace. 

Miss Russia — I object! It's not fair. (Comes out 
in front of altar.) He was engaged to me for three years. 

Uncle — (Walks out and leads Miss Russia to seat) 



It's too late now. The divorce court is your only hope. 
(Leaves her weeping) 

Minister — (Proceeding) This trouble being dis- 
posed of we shall proceed. Who gives this bride away? 

Aunt Africa — (Stepping to front in dignified man- 
ner) I reckon I raised that gal and I'll give her away. 

Father — I do. (Father disengages himself from 
bride and steps to left. Best man steps to right) 

Minister — (Proceeding) Do you want to get mar- 
ried? (Addressing groom) 

Groom — I do. 

Minister — Do you want to get married? (Address- 
ing bride) 

Bride — I do. 

Minister — Friends, we now have before us, two in- 
nocent, unsuspecting souls, who up to this time have 
lived happily, enjoying the many pleasures of single 
blessedness. Now all this is suddenly to be brought to 
an end. This couple now wishes to enter the holy bonds 
of matrimony. Join right hands. (To groom) Is there 
a token? (Best man takes ring from ring-bearer's pil- 
low, and hands it to groom, who places it on bride's fin- 
ger.) (To groom) Wilt thou have this woman for bet- 
ter or for worse? — 

Aunt Africa — (Interrupting) Man, take that gal 
just as she is. She can't get no better, and if she gets 
worse, I'll tend to her myself. 

Minister — (Proceeding) Wilt thou give her all thy 
money to spend? Wilt thou never fuss if she burns the 
bread or forgets the supper? Wilt thou freely and will- 
ingly support her father, mother, sisters, the twins, her 
widowed aunt and seven children, that poor old grand- 
father and mother, with their worthless grandson and 
three poodle dogs ? 

Groom — (Interrupting) I will. 

Minister — Wilt thou keep two automobiles for them 
and not complain when thou hast to walk? Wilt thou 
keep her better dressed than her father did, and let her 
take a trip to New York twice a year? Wilt thou glad- 
ly buy her paint, high-heeled shoes and false hair? In 
short, wilt thou be humbly obedient, allowing her to have 



her way in all things whatsoever, so long as ye both shall 
live? The answer is, "I will." 

Groom — I will. 

Minister — Miss France, wilt thou have this man for 
thy wedded husband, forsaking all others, and cleaving 
to him only, rich or poor, drunk or sober, so long as ye 
both shall live? 

Bride — (Interrupting) I will. 

Minister — Wilt thou gladly darn his socks, light his 
pipe, build the fires and press his clothes? Wilt thou 
hoe the garden and milk the cows? Wilt thou stay at 
home and let him go to parties? Wilt thou shine his 
shoes and never search his pockets? Wilt thou release 
him willingly to go to war? Wilt thou gladly wear made- 
over dresses, and joyfully welcome thy mother-in-law? 
Wilt thou promise to make his life as miserable as pos- 
sible, so long as ye both shall live? The answer is, "I 
will." 

Bride — I will. 

Minister — I pronounce you man and woman, and 
may every one pity your poor souls. 

(Groom kisses the bride. Minister shakes 
hands with bride and groom. Guests join in con- 
gratulations. Aunt Africa rolls baby up and lifts 
it from carriage to kiss the bride. Altar is quietly 
moved from stage. Wedding party and guests take 
positions for Old Virginia Reel. Men form line from 
R. F. to B. C. Ladies form line from L. F. to B. C. 
Bride and groom are on ends of respective lines at 
back. Pianist plays "Turkey in the Straw." Groom 
and lady at opposite end dance out, meet and bow. 
Bride and man at opposite end execute same move- 
ments. First couple again dance out, join right 
hands, siving and return. Second couple, likewise. 
First couple again dance out, join left hands, swing 
and return. Second couple, likewise. First couple 
again dance out, join both hands and swing. Sec- 
ond couple likewise. First couple again dance out, 
and dance around one another, keeping their backs 
together, and return to places. Second couple, like- 
wise. Bride and groom join hands, promenade to 
front and return. Groom swings ladies, beginning 



at back of stage. Bride swings men, beginning at 
front. As bride and groom release their respective 
partners at center of stage, they swing each other, 
before swinging persons next in line. When through 
swinging, bride and groom again promenade to 
front. Tableau, if desired.) 

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^^ .PRICE 25 CENTS^^s£^ 

THE ELDRIDGE ENTERTAINMENT HOUSE 

FRANKUN, OHIO also ^'££r< DENVER, COLO. 



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FRANKLIN, OHIO ^ % ^ % DENVER, COLO. 



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